Beginners Guide to Parenting when Life Feels Hopeless
There are way too many moms, especially young Moms, who feel alone in their life and in this Mom gig. Parenting is the hardest job there is and it’s made harder if you don’t have support and guidance, especially if you struggle with mental illness. I want to be that friend for you, the friend that completely GETS IT, and has your back.
I once heard Oprah quote this ancient African proverb that stuck with me; “It takes a village to raise a child.” What that means is that Moms are meant to have the baby’s Daddy in the picture, their Mothers around to teach them about babies, and how to be a Mommy, or extended family or friends to watch the kid/s so that you can just get a shower, for crying out loud!
This site is for you, if you’re a Mom or Mom-to-be that is feeling alone, lonely, stressed, overwhelmed or otherwise feel like there are obstacles preventing you from being the Supermom that you want to be. I want all of you to know that if you’re here reading this site, YOU ARE a Super Mom, even if you aren’t “Supermom”. (hint- She doesn’t exist anyway)
I’m a Mom of 6 and I suffer from Bipolar 2 & the depression and anxiety that comes from that. When I was a young Mom, the internet was s-l-o-w and I didn’t have anyone around for support except my alcoholic Mom who wasn’t sober long enough to really help. My husbands family wasn’t present to help babysit or teach me anything about cooking or cleaning, etc. & I felt alone and confused. Even today, my first baby is 16 and there still isn’t a lot of support for Moms with depression and bipolar on the internet. When we’re deep in the throes of despair, we need compassion and empathy; someone to listen, care and come to the rescue in one way or another.
After my Mom passed away in 2016, I really was alone outside of my husband, and this made me think about all the Moms who don’t have Moms. Moms who don’t have anyone. When mamas google “mothering with bipolar” or “being a mom with depression,” etc. I want to give them(you) that safe landing place here at UnderdogMom.com.
What is UnderdogMom.com?
If you’ve stumbled upon this site, chances you are in the right place. I want you to feel welcome here no matter what your parenting methods, your social status, your mental stability, your sexual preferences, your gender or your religion. If you’re a Mom and sometimes -or always- feel like life is just futile, or parenting is brutal and challenging, I welcome you with open arms.♥
Where do you even begin?
Here are a few things that I wish someone would have told me when I was a new Mom, or when I was in the deepest, darkest caves of emotion or lack thereof. These are a few things that you can read and take to heart TODAY to start seeing the beauty in the small things.
- There is no perfect Supermom.
- Puppies are cute, but NO! Wait at least until your youngest is 10. (I actually was told this but I wish I would have listened. I’d still have my favorite shoes)
- You are doing the best that you can.
- even if you only managed to keep the baby or kids alive today, you are killn’ it.
- Don’t believe the lies you tell yourself.
- I am here for you.
- All or something- you don’t have to push yourself to do it all, & you can be satisfied in yourself even if you are just hitting your bare minimum
- You do not have to hold your baby or give them ALL of your attention, you’ve got to save some energy for you and it is good for the babe to spend time alone in a safe place.
- Who cares if you gained a couple lbs, you grew a human! not everyone can say that. Fat is not a bad word, and you are beautiful.
- You are going to learn SO much by being a Mother. Things about yourself you didn’t know, things about the world you haven’t considered, and you’ll see colors you didn’t know to exist. ♥
A few ideas to boost your mindset today:
- drink more water
- don’t forget your vitamins or antidepressants
- try to get some sunshine or invest in a happy lamp.
- move! even if you just jog in place gently, getting your heart pumping does wonders for your mind and body
- Print out the free motivational quote poster I made, below, and take them to heart- better yet, put them up around your house.
- Focus on eating more whole foods- even just adding an apple a day.
- start a journal, kudos if it’s a gratitude journal.
- Join my email list for a spark of happiness delivered right to your inbox.
- pat yourself on the back because you are doing this!
Some of my favorite self-help type books- or books on my want-to-read list
- How to Manage your Home without Losing Your Mind by Dana K. White
- Big Magic- Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
- Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin
- The Gifts Of Imperfection by Brene Brown
- Body Respect by Linda Bacon
- The Depression Cure by Stephen S. Ilardi. PhD
- Girl, Wash Your Face – Rachel Hollis
*Okay, that’s enough to get you started, if you want more ideas, head on over to MY POST about my favorite products!
Funny videos to make you smile (these are fairly short, worth your time I promise)
Products that I wouldn’t want to live without
- air fryer- kids as young as 6 can use this thing- just show them the (incredibly simple) ropes and you get to sit while they make french fries for themselves- and the other kids if you are lucky. (Good one is here)
- instant pot- Fairly quick, almost hands-free food- walk away and come back to it later. (find here)
- alexa- hands-free just about everything you can think of- need to add apple juice to the shopping list? BOOM! (click me)
- bluetooth headphones- I wear them when I need to clean and husband is willing to watch the kids, to indicate that I am in work mode and they better leave me alone lol (kinda like this)
Mantras that can help you put one foot in front of the other – more to come. 🙂
Motivational Quotes to Keep Your Chin Up
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The Last Thing You Need to Know About This Site
- I’m here for you, you are not alone, and I’m your biggest cheerleader.
Are you a struggling Mama? What part (or parts) of parenting are you finding the most difficult right now? Please leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you! and don’t forget to join my email list to get your free motivational quotes!
If you’re feeling super low and need additional support please hit the buttons below, they will take you directly to the sites.